The Future

Hi

Well yesterday was a better day I had lunch with my best friend. He always helps me to put things into perspective, but he also asks things that I can't answer, this then means I need to ask more questions.

Firstly when did Graham stop loving me as I have a text from a few weeks ago saying love you.
Was it when he started talking to her again or was he lying and does that mean he's given his love to her and I am fighting a losing battle, wasteing my time and letting him have his cake and eat it again.

He asks if he shows me that he cares, my mate says that if he has any feelings for me at all he would and could give up the 'friendship' and concentrate on us.
Why doesn't he mail B a male friend he's had for years, more if he needs friends, he has always been there for hubby but now he's not enough. Hubby has to have a girl friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shit did I say I had a better day perhaps not. Today is now already total shite.

Our tickets arrived this morning for Cyprus, it's our second anniversary at the end of the month.
Will it have a fairytale ending or will it be total codswallop I have no idea. But I can't be happy while he doesn't love me.
But while he still has his friend I can't see we have much of a future cos I'm continually wondering if he's planning to go to her. I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering when he is going.

All I ever wanted was a guy who loved me and I loved him, I thought that was what we had, cos I never pushed him into marriage it was what he wanted. Now it's all fairytale codswallop.

I don't think today is going to be very good. I felt down when we got up now I feel worse. I just want to sit here and cry.................................

Well I can't do that have to get ready for work but I do wish I had the courage to get out of this life............a few pills and......................

FAIRYTALE CODSWALLOP